Throwback: Beat the IIT Boy!

Written April 29, 2010, on the occasion of preparing for CLAT 2010

It's kinda stupid that so far, this year, I've posted just once. I mean, what with the whole end of school thing going, and the beginning of freedom (I wish!!!); you'd think I'd be obliged to blog more often. This must be what they were referring to at school when they talked about the inverse square law.

Ah well. I suppose it was mere wishful thinking on my part to think, even for a second, that the pressure would be off post- Board Exams. No such luck. I suppose I should just be thanking my stars that I don't have to do 7 hours, 5 days a week. Now its just 4 hours thrice a week. But this time I can't wriggle out of my obligations citing non- inclination towards what I'm doing.

And with barely two days left... I'm facing yet another race against time. And this time I feel like I'm locked in some sort of a pressure cooker. I think I'd gladly have another go at the Boards.

And the worst of it is, somewhere along the way, I seem to have genetically mutated. I've lost that all important gene which says that you actually work for something you want really badly.

Or maybe it's just called irresponsibility. And Sleepophilia.

And it doesn't really help when you keep getting compared to that annoying over achiever who lived in your body till 9th grade and unfailingly brought home 96.5% averages. Or the cousin who's a year younger than you and is studying for the IIT entrance exam. Same cousin was compared to you when you wrote your 10th grade board exam. You got 83%. He gets 92% the next year. Anybody see a pattern?

You know that feeling you get sitting in class and listening to kids rattling out answers to questions which you're having trouble understanding? Like where it feels like there's a load of bricks on your chest, and its crushing you up inside, and your intestines, for some reason take it into their head to act like they're in the semi final rounds of TrampolinoShip 2010.

And it gets worse when you think about yourself on the edge of that same nerdo seat around 5 years ago, yelping out the answers before they leave the teacher's mouth, and even having the audacity to correct her when (God bless her) she makes a mistake. No wonder the rest of the class wanted to murder me, you think. You pretty much wanna steamroller the geek bitch right now.

It doesn't matter how many times you promise yourself that you're gonna study now, no matter what. You've become a master at creating hourly study time-tables. But you're also a Jedi Master at rubbishing each time table. With each failure, deep down, something stirs and raises its ugly head. It's telling you you're no good, so why even bother trying. And in the end, you stop trying, smile coolly at the the marks and say, "Whatever ". Don't miss the casual shrug of the shoulders and the disdainful expression that says, "I've got the brains, I don't need to prove it."
Don't miss the searing pain, the fury simmering just beneath the surface.

A toast to IIT. Let's give it a Nobel Prize for Successful Induction of Depression into Aspiring Students. Statistically Proved.

Spoiler: I beat the IIT Boy, but then I think he beat me afterwards.