Navigating Solutions and Darkness

Soon this will feel like a distant dream.  Until then, may you rest in a deep and dreamless slumber. -  Elise,  Westworld I was introduced to Massari in high school - probably tenth grade, probably thanks to MTS and MTR, my tuition buddies. (MTR got married a couple of days ago, congrats, girl.) Tuitions were a real eye opener for me, socially speaking. It was my chance in a long time to interact with people outside of my very limited social circle. We weren't really in the habit of googling lyrics back then, except sometimes, so I didn't even understand half of what Massari's singing about for the longest time. And it really doesn't matter - even today, Be Easy  has a beat that makes it impossible to sit still. It is also so deeply coded to memories of that time that it can instantly catapult me back into that time. But Be Easy was always the consolation prize song. The palate cleanser for when you've had too many repeats of Real Love. This song has got ...

Photo by  Jimmy Chan  from  Pexels Written on October 2, 2008. Notes in red. You know how the old classic goes... Welcome to the Ho(s)tel California... You can check out any time you want... But you can never  leave!!!! I checked out, baby. I checked out a long time ago. But it doesn't look like I get to leave any time soon. I'm going back today, with no hope for any respite until November. Ahm how the months stretch on.. Days and days of sleeping in class and lying awake at night,  of analysing and cross analysing people's words and actions, and going all paranoid on them --  Does she hate me? What did he mean by that? Why doesn't this one look at me?  Frankly, I'm getting a little sick of myself. If you were to ask just wtf is wrong wit me... I'd tell you I'm a paranoiac suffering from bipolar disorder and mild schizophrenia and mild megalomania. And just in case you didn't know,   bipolar disorder is the same a...