Throwback: Hostel California

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Photo by Jimmy Chan from Pexels
Written on October 2, 2008. Notes in red.

You know how the old classic goes...

Welcome to the Ho(s)tel California...

You can check out any time you want...
But you can never leave!!!!

I checked out, baby. I checked out a long time ago. But it doesn't look like I get to leave any time soon.

I'm going back today, with no hope for any respite until November. Ahm how the months stretch on.. Days and days of sleeping in class and lying awake at night,  of analysing and cross analysing people's words and actions, and going all paranoid on them -- Does she hate me? What did he mean by that? Why doesn't this one look at me? Frankly, I'm getting a little sick of myself.

If you were to ask just wtf is wrong wit me... I'd tell you I'm a paranoiac suffering from bipolar disorder and mild schizophrenia and mild megalomania. And just in case you didn't know, bipolar disorder is the same as manic depression, schizophrenia refers to delusions of a double life, and megalomania refers to delusions of grandeur. 

Boy, was I an idiot or what? I was right about the definition of megalomania, and nothing else. 


So, yeah.. I'm either a hypochondriac or a qualified nutcase. Either way,  it suits me. :D

Why?

So.. on a lighter note, one of my all time faves just got married. Best of luck, Jeph. Jeph is, as I've already mentioned, the artist phenomenon behind Questionable Content.

I previously used a very stupid word in the above paragraph, and that has now been edited out. Words that trivialize mental health issues, or which are pejorative, like "crazy," "insane," "nutcase," etc should really not be used in a flippant fashion. You can't define these words. There's no clear indication as to what "Crazy" is, or why it's a bad thing, for instance. 
Also, Jeph got divorced a few years later, and I regretted very much that it didn't work out. He seems to be a very nice person who's got his priorities in order, and who cares about the messages he sends and the impact he has through his work. 

And, yeah. What else? 
I'm so glad for these 2 days of respite. I mean... so many people to show they actually care. It feels so good, unlike the frigid atmosphere in the Hostel from Hell.

It's Dandiyas in Dubai tonight, and, boy am I gonna go to bed with a heavy heart.  Each and every person I've just spoken to is going, and it makes me wonder whether I'd be going tonight, if I was in Dubai.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the question. For all my moaning and whining about being in India, I really don't know if I'd be having any fun even if I was back home. 

[Sigh] My parents. I say no more.

Cheers to the Dandiyas and to the Eagles. And thanks, Maude, thanks, Pooja, thanks, Selvin, thanks, Amrita, thanks Livin... and everyone. And here's to hoping life'll get better. My childlike optimism never runs dry. :)

Don't really talk to any of these people anymore. 

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