Comic Sans Lover

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As evening fell and darkened into a not-unpleasant kind of night, I watched a cute guy talk about how his trainee would probably mess up if he didn't immediately clarify things for him. And all I could think of was Praveen.

Cut to a month or so ago, when I was at my CCD with Praveen's boss, who wouldn't stop talking about Praveen.

"So I walked into office one day," said Praveen's Boss, "in a fairly good mood. And I hear this guy say 'Kannada Gothilla.' And I didn't know what came over me, but I just said, 'Praveen, return his advance and tell him his car is not available.' And the client protested, since the car was waiting for him outside and he could see that. I ignored him and went inside. So the client asked Praveen what was wrong with his boss. And Praveen is such a funny guy, he just said straight up, 'I've been working for him for several years now, and I still don't understand anything he says. He's just insane.'"

Praveen is the kind of guy who isn't scared of his boss, and who will talk shit to his face. His boss seems to admire this quality greatly, just as he does the many liberties Praveen regularly takes with him. For instance, Praveen regularly asks his boss's female friends how they can stand him. He will also refuse to go on business trips with his boss due to his boss's tendency to talk anyone's ear off. And in this I fully sympathize with Praveen, because if I were stuck in a car with his boss, I would fully jump out the window to escape the endless chatter.

Praveen also regularly borrows his boss's cars to impress his girlfriends, who for some reason completely believe that he owns those specific cars. "Praveen," exclaims his dismayed boss. "How is it that I have all this money and yet no girlfriend, while you seem to have three?"

"Oh, but sir," responds Praveen in equal dismay. "None of my girlfriends will sleep with me!"

I half suspect that Praveen and Praveen's boss's fancy cars are all just a product of his boss's vivid imagination. But as the whole thing makes for great conversation, I don't begrudge him that. Praveen's Boss is, after all, a fairly nice person with a very realistic idea of his own unattractiveness, mediocre in bed but with what I call a 'fun size penis' - most convenient for third base ever - and a propensity for becoming unaccountably busy right after he's been taken for a test drive. 😜

He's also, by his own account, quite fussy about anything he wants to get done, a fact I unpleasantly stumbled upon when I critiqued his business card, which was prominently and most unprofessionally printed in Comic Sans. Turns out the card looks like that on purpose, so you know, back off, back off, and change the subject asap.

So here's to the Comic Sans Lover, a Dom with an interest in micromanagement, and unfortunately one whom nobody would really feel like Subbing for. A speed freak car afficionado with a propensity for dropping his BMW and his Chevrolet and his Jeep into conversation whilst regularly turning up on a beat up Activa. Boss of the indomitable Praveen. Five foot nothing, but why should that ever stop anyone from being a weirdo? And after all, if you must be atheist, why not do so while being completely obsessed by Lord Hanuman?

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