Navigating Solutions and Darkness

Not a real person

Photo by  Allef Vinicius  on  Unsplash Dreams split wide/ Revealing The blood of delusions seeping through My head light/ dizzy A blood rush down and away/ Seeking egress Toes tapping against imaginary dances To the beat of a long dead story A string tied to a rib/ Only To be yanked viciously Follow on/ Or die alone bleeding Out from separation anxiety/ Separation From a rib that turns out to be More than a little important Once/ Or so the story goes Ariadne’s thread glowed bright Leading heart to heart through A labyrinthine world/ Twists And turns only to lead right back to you Always find my way back to you Once/ Or so the song is sung Until to ashes the magic yarn Fire-kissed twine did turn To reddish-copper burnished Sullen in the flames of betrayal Longer, stronger, worthless now/ Leading Off into a different world’s timelines A dull ache left behind Resounding/ with ...

Photo by Hasan Almasi, Unsplash What hands are these/ Reddened By complicity/ A baying silence In the shadow of the mob What greed is ineffectually condemned In the safety of self-righteous handwringing What thoughts pass unnoticed In muted prayers Of "Take any that Spare me" What will is signed Behind closed oaken doors of minds fraught With unease and laden with the roaring of guilt And whence comes the day With the dogs at the door What cats will slip on velvet paws Out the back door into oblivion And what birds will succumb To the tragedies they foretold in their morning chants

Photo by  Julien Millet  on  Unsplash I have words hiding inside my mind/ knocking to come out and I have forgotten the way/ white space rushes in to fill the gaps between the thoughts i meant to speak the memories fading like sick kittens i used to know crumpling inwards and downwards drowning never resurfacing/ one step after the next/ one key after the next/ a burning refusal of accountability/ a vengeance just out of reach/ breaths come fast and slow a few million hours sat in tapas absorbing the same damn tale over/ and over again/ fear and fury warring over details inconsequential both and engraved on the hearts of those long fossilized within the cooling embers of a forgotten tragedy

Photo by  Luis Galvez  on  Unsplash Written May 26, 2014 Il y a longtemps que je t'aime Jamais je ne t'oublierai* What are these tendrils of Time  That my little feet trip on ? What are these bumps in the road  That I must stumble into ? Is it not possible to run far away To a place far back beyond Time  Is it not possible to hide somewhere  Forgotten long ago  What are these tears I find  Upon my pillow each night ? Whose face is it I miss That I can now barely recall ? Was it only yesterday That I spoke to you with words breaking  O'er the great bad reef/ My heart Crushing itself inside out ? We're going away now  We're never turning back I'll hitch my wagon to the stars  So I'll never have a choice  I'll not turn back to see  Whether you turned back to see  One last look of confusion  Because that's all this was  A silence made of twisting knives  Buried deep i...

Photo by  Andre Moura  from  Pexels Written August 19, 2013 'Coz I am just a scared quiet child In a cold lonely night And I couldn't explain these tears of mine If I tried a million years And would you make fun of me Would you leave if you saw Would you be angry And fail to understand? 'Coz I'm just a scared quiet child In a cold lonely night And I couldn't be anything else If I tried a million years It's like a cloudburst on a summer night Never stay too long Everything rooted only feels pain Adrift there's only you In the shadow of the moon's face And the dead weight of the past You're the glimmering hope i see When pity twists my heart 'Coz I'm just a scared quiet child In a cold lonely night And if the best i could catch on my sunniest day Is you, I'm good as dead

Photo by Alice Alinari on Unsplash Written June 13, 2013 The strange light burns on  Through the night with strange  blades  For company/ Whirring through the air Sending light  And air a-scatter As below them, things and lives shift Alike in a sea of trash They stand vigil over a strange place A ruined palace its mistress afflicted  By a strange illness For what could cure her she sent  Away way before the start of time The wound within fest'ring Like tears under a strange white light She scoffs  At princes on white chargers Sent for her amusement/ Waves  Away her food and drink And sits by the sill to wait In a strange vigil/ listening For hoof beats forbidden/ For the sneak Of stealth and whispered treason For news  Of the exiled, of rebellion and war A strange prayer From her lips/ victory  For her enemy to return To whisper her hence Strange hopes into the wind/ Lay  My kingdom to waste Pillag...

Photo by Duncan Sanchez on Unsplash Wings the size of the world  Golden light spilling  From eyes that see farther  Than the horizons of imagination  Divinity clothed  In an entire universe borne  Along by a silent heavy core  Marked in unmistakable humanity  The fury that thirsts  For vengeance unquenchable  Elephantine hands to dole  Out recrimination well called for  The winds around the world  Appear pleading mercy  The earth itself shakes in fear  Of tragedy too powerless to avert 

Photo by David Kaloczi on Unsplash Written July 19, 2012 And again each time I feel that gaze I'll know and remember A tainted sky The perverse lovers That graced its walls I'll know and remember The way you looked And then the way You looked away I'll know and remember Shards of pain Starb urst inside me Every time I draw a breath/ Shaky  Like glass figurines in the dark/ Eager  To play/ To dance On the brink Of a chaotic world A while since you've been gone Your face lingering In the days we avoid/ Glaring  At forbidden corners of the world Tendrils that reach out at night I'll know and remember Covering my thoughts In a blanket of you Walking down a path covered  In snow that tucks itself  In behind my foot steps and  We're almost at the bridge Over it even as we speak I'll know and remember Turning back for one last look Before I bend down/ And set My light to inflammable footsteps of snow I'd walk away As thou...

Written May 31, 2012 Judgemental shadows standing by  Violin strains from hidden alcoves Velvet curtains and a prince in blue Spotlight on the centre of the ballroom floor You take my hand/ Ask me for a dance Spin me around and pull me in tight Cup my face in caressing fingers And whisper in my ear sweet dreams/ Of escape Into a vision perfected in my mind Where it's just you and I on the floor Waltzing to a tune woven with our dreams And we'll know what we left behind So take me home tonight In a carriage on plush seats White horses running loose Through the woods with wicked boughs Crackling/ the night swallowing us up As we flee our nightmares together And we'd draw lines together  In the sand/ And together we'd watch the surf run wild Let the days grow old around us Let the sun sink below the sea line These crazy dreams would dance with me Starring me and you in the old Wild West Help me open up a new chapter To a story ending here t...

December 19, 2010 It's another evening And me curled up by the fire The firelight reflected in my eyes Flickers and wavers Giving way to strange stories I smile as my eyes glaze over And a hundred years seem to pass The silence suddenly/ Just at my elbow Something curled up in my lap Like a housecat purrs I stroke it absently and smile As I watch the things that never were There's a pain in the centre of my forehead Right over the frown wrinkle I'm asleep with my eyes wide open I'm dead to the world Even as my hands stroke something Absently, that lies curled up in my lap There's something to be said About these things I see When I'm awake and yet asleep A bit of replay here A bit of fantasy there A sliver of wistful thinking And a song long forgotten A face I've seen many times before In a game I used to play when I was a child All mixed up with the tears I shed My pet curled up in my...

Shadows/ On the side Vengeance on wheels/ Barrelling  Down the road/ A crash A do-over/ Ensure the job Is done/ The pole falls  Cut in two/ Blue lightning racing  Down on a collision Course with Fate  A wretched scream  Death rides In desperate fingers  Fiery flames billowing/ Outward From a sunflower core of ash  Eyes snap/ Wave aside it's time  Shine/ As a new star  Hanging in the heavens/ Burning  Alive for all time  Wait! Even though it's time  To explore a new world/ Created  In my image/ Wait! Nagging  Pitifully/ This hero past  His hill/ Toothless and decrepit  Arrogant challenge? Plaintive Cry/ Return to your hag Nothing awaits you here/ But death  

This is a bad phase  I tell the pair of round  Trusting eyes/ Staring back at me  I don't even know  If I said it out loud  But I hope he understood me  I hope/ Like he has a choice  Just a bad phase, I say As blood congeals on the floor  Suspicious bits of litter  Forming him an obstacle course  A bad phase/ Of broken shards  Of glass lying forgotten  In the no-fly zone/ Twice already  I've cut myself on them  As I tried to charter  Just a simple daily flight  Of fancy/ a bad, bad... The doors are shut  Tight, securely locked/ The smell inside  Is unbearable/ But we don't dare  Open a window for fear  Of what might escape/ Stop Trying to break that door down  With your hard, square head We don't need- / Too late  The screaming starts/ I rush  To slam the door/ Push  A chair against it/ The screaming  Will never stop/ Fueling Fla...

The night rushes past  Unconcern/ Filling every breath  Of wind/ In my hair  These familiar roads  Dark and silent/ masking  What I fear the most  These shops loom tall/ Shadows  Of memory lengthened/ Many miles  Behind them lying/ These posts could tell Tales of what I seek/ And wish  Never to find/ I choose  Not to ask/ I cringe  Before the wind/ I hide  And close my eyes/ I pray  They will never find me again  This city has been burned to ashes  In my mind/ This city died  But I have no home  Left to go/ Have nowhere  To turn to now/ I must  Snoop/ And pray I'm hidden  Must shy/ Away  From joy unbidden  On that road lies pain unfolded/ Pain  Untold in a thousand knives/ Pain  Unending in a million lives 

Five young men set Out to stand In the rain awaiting The coming of a new A shimmery gold veil To set the stage/ Dismiss The darkness gath’ring sly In corners like spider webs Built of broken hearted tears Twelve white umbrellas And other irrelevant things/ Glist’ning Here to ward against the fire Fury of dragons/ bellowing ‘Cross the city heard/ The twinkle Of sunkissed diamond/ the scent Of broken promises heavy in the air Darkest scorn and vilest kisses One white dress weighed down A shot fired/ ‘Cross the bows Against the water/ the bridge at dawn ‘Tis time to bid goodbye to shame Time/ Time to/ Time to/ Time time time A world of corners where danger lurks In glass, in cloth, in wasabi Nazgul built by charcoal and love Succumbs to death by no man’s hand Luck ran out/ Brought sorrow back in The lost and confusion/ shrieks so loud The world shattering/ ears pinned back Make it stop/ make it/ make it stop For all the gold/ an...

Photo by  Jonatán Becerra  on  Unsplash We speak of her from time to time  I hear of her likes, her loves, her cruelties  Not once however Have I heard her name How many suns had to pass Before he forgot how to speak it How many sandstorms fought To erase the way it sounded Falling from his lips? What rivers carved Their way through rock What night fell In a silence that held And failed to end And what is the shadow that remains After they have both passed on  Casting gray 'cross memory's threshold Stark, mute, and nameless

Written December 19, 2010 A wind blows in from somewhere Fanning the tongues of an old flame Something stirs under the woodwork And I turn to look out the window The night seems to alight upon my window sill The thinnest strip of wind rushes through my hair Through this crack in the window Through this crack left open in my heart I wish I had the courage to get up From my vantage point on the couch This breath of air annoys me I must either open it to the fullest Or close it forever more The silence reigns supreme And my fingers against the keys pay obseiance As I gaze into the darkness That rushes past me I think of another pair of sleepless eyes Gazing back out at me

Written December 19, 2010 Standing on the shore Watching the waves come in  She cuts a fine figure perched on the rock The wind is in her hair The smile is on her lips She looks like she could kiss the world tonight Her arms welcome the night That’s rolling in with the tide Her laugh accompanies the rays of sunlight Fading away into the west I wish I could tell you What she is thinking I bet you would kill to know I wish I could tell you That your journey’s over That the thought curving her lips up Is you

Written December 19, 2010 (slightly edited) It’s not about the laughter It’s not about the pain It’s about what lies beyond It’s about what lives I’ve lived a thousand years I’ve seen it live and die I’ve learnt about fallacies And what erases time But what we leave behind Never really goes away And what we try to forget Lives on in all of us, everyday Watch as the silence ticks On and on and life goes on Don’t cry for what you’ve lost It’ll all come back to you Reach out Let your fingers burn Watch out Lest your heart turn cold Live the life you know In every single minute Love the way you live And don’t bother to turn back Be brave enough to be kind 'Cause it’s all waiting for you Beyond

Written December 19, 2010 Give and take There's a pile of laundry Left undone From last month's flirting I'm gonna be broke  Before this party's over now... Yet another  Day to sigh over And I'm glad The worst is yet over Irksome things like To get under my skin tonight I'm gonna be fearsome Be the princess of far away It's gonna be tiresome But I'll get there in the end just So I can turn another leaf And begin a chapter anew Dream big dreams Like Cinderella  While soap suds seep Into clothes in the cellar Pop goes the bubble and it's time  To wave away my visions And get on with my laundry