Navigating Solutions and Darkness

"Let Karma take care of it," one of my friends says, before launching into a gory story about how somebody she knew got what was coming to her. I hem and haw in response, not being a great believer in anything that I can't see a logical structure in place for. If it's a Karma thing, then consider me more than happy to be Karma's agent on Earth. Karma might work in mysterious ways, but in my case, there would be no mystery about Her workings. And he did. Yesterday, for the first time, I felt very little anger. In fact, I felt the traitorous, "chuck it" creep into my mind. Briefly. On the positive side, this is a sign that therapy and time are doing their work. On the other hand, that is just bloody depressing. Because the thought that someone should get away with what they've done is... sickening. When someone goes to great trouble to lie, cheat, gaslight and erase history to adapt the narrative towards their own convenient means, simply let...

August 3, 2010 Not so long ago, there was a mass of ugly, writhing worms hidden under the floorboard. And I used to go out there every now and then, and pull up the floorboard, just for the pain it gave me, to watch those motherfuckers squirm through my thoughts. Apparently creepy wormy thoughts have been replaced by punches to the backbone that knock the wind out of you, and leave a neat line of navy blue potatoes right down your back. Crazy night, I tell you, when you figure out that your name has been changed to Salome. When the fact that its your fault makes you a little happy. Just a little happier. :) You're damn sleepy, and yet you keep your eyes open out of guilt, and because you need to give yourself more cause for guilt. You have music pouring into your ears, and out of your fingers, and all you can think is that you're 3 months too late. You have your best friend telling you about how she felt like killing herself, and you're so numb, you have nothing...