Navigating Solutions and Darkness

If I close my eyes at just the right moment, as my boyfriend is opening his laptop, I can see a Fujitsu logo on the back of it, and imagine for a moment that my old laptop is still alive and well. (It's currently stored in the laptop crypt that is my wardrobe, along with 3 others.) It had to be retired after it literally caught fire in my hostel room. It was my fault. I dropped it too many times, and it was really just held together with spit and broken dreams by that point. I still keep it because I want to get the hard drive out someday. It's probably super screwed by this point, and totally unusable. I left it about 4 years too late, but still I hold out hope. That's because I live in the past a lot. I know at least 50 people queuing up to tell me I shouldn't, and I tell them I don't, I swear I don't, because they would never leave me alone otherwise. And yet that's where I am about 50% of the time, still drowning in the murky waters of bogs I...

Soon this will feel like a distant dream.  Until then, may you rest in a deep and dreamless slumber. -  Elise,  Westworld Castle of Glass - Linkin Park Take me down to the river bend Take me down to the fighting end Wash the poison from off my skin Show me how to be whole again Fly me up on a silver wing Past the black where the sirens sing Warm me up in a nova's glow And drop me down to the dream below 'Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass Hardly anything there for you to see For you to see Chester Bennington, former frontman of the bank Linkin Park, passed away on July 20, 2017. He was 41. I avoided processing the news.  My friend's kitten is named Chester in his honour. And yet I wonder.  Everybody I know put up statuses lamenting the fact. And yet I wonder.  A few shared pieces on the backlash against his latest music and peoples' sense of entitlement in general. And yet I wonder.  ...

Photo by  Timothy L Brock  on  Unsplash The argument that suicide is selfish is a selfish argument.