Navigating Solutions and Darkness

There is nothing quite like the feeling of knowing your childhood crush thought you were cute. Especially that they thought something about you was cute that you personally hated. There's nothing quite like having a childhood crush turn out to be sweet, soft spoken, generally adorable... if a little faffy. My ninth grade self is so proud, I swear. In fact, there is nothing in the world quite like polite boys. Boys who make time to consider your feelings and (!!) text back. Boys who are just... Kind. Just... Nice. Just... Okay, I'm crying now. #damaged #thebarislow There is also nothing quite like finding out Nivin Pauly is your aunt's neighbor. There is nothing like having friends who are friendly across decades, who do things for you without expecting anything in return even though maybe they don't even know you. Nothing like friends. Nothing like healing. Nothing like... Just generally feeling unburdened, lighter, un-anxious. Free of law school and law school ...

Written May 31, 2010 Spoiler Alert: the roof fell in, and I fell off.  Does anyone know where I am tonight??? Search for me everywhere, search, and you won't find. 'Cause you don't know where to look for me tonight. Look out the window, and ask the wind, that know it all. No? Oh well, dip into facebook, and all the other chatrooms. It's past midnight, and there are plenty of people out there. No? Check the beaches, and lovers' corners. Tap into late night conversation between friends, lovers, or ex- lovers. No? Check the kitchen, is the fridge open, any signs of a midnight snack? Check the church, am I out there, stalking some cute guy or the other? No. Check with my ipod, does it know where I am? My novel lies open on the couch, abandoned. The TV remote lies next to it, all but forgotten. Check with my pillow, why am I still awake in the wee hours of the morning? She was too tired to fall asleep, says my pillow. Somewhere in the big hous...