Throwback: High and Low Functioning

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Written on July 25, 2017

 Corporate life is not meant for those with mental health issues. I panic. I can't deal. I hate people who have high functioning versions of depression or anxiety. How fucking ridiculous is that.

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I switched to another tab to look up high functioning and low functioning and completely forgot that I'd written the above paragraph.

Also, I've changed my mind. High functioning doesn't mean what I thought it did. It means someone who's able to maintain a positive profile in their public and professional life, as opposed to someone like me, who's unable to hide it. [Source] Perhaps high functioning is even more stressful than low functioning, because it can't be easy to keep up the performance.

Work life needs to be more sensitive to physical and mental health issues. Work life needs to recognize that it's populated by human beings, and not machines. Work life needs to stop rewarding the people who most closely resemble machines. We are not machines, and it is killing us to try and pretend to be.

I need to remember not to feel guilty for not sending an email, or texting my superiors about not going to be at work. I can't do the thing either way, and it is not helping me if I beat myself up over it. I need to remember not to hate myself for ordering in because I don't have the strength to deal with the Situation that is my fridge right now, or for not washing the dishes, or getting rid of the damn fruit flies that have taken over my house.

I need to remember that, contrary to popular social narrative, I'm not being lazy. I'm not a lazy person. Perhaps my health would be a lot better if I was a lazy person, Idk. I need to recognize self care for what it is, to recognize that with the state of the world being what it is, people are going to call me lazy, and that does not make it true. I need to remember that if I don't take care of myself, there may not be anyone left here to actually achieve the goals and objectives I want to achieve.

Stop stressing on productivity - especially the popularly defined version of productivity, which likens us to machines. Stop insisting that your worth as a person is somehow tied to said productivity. Stop degrading and devaluing people with various kinds of disabilities simply because they do not tie into your highly elitist and exclusionary delusions of how society ought to function. Just stop, because you're literally killing people with that stuff.

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