On Credibility

MeToo came to my college (current students only, ha-ha-ha). The air is thick with allegations, and once again I get to see the kind of behaviour I am all too used to. A cognitive dissonance wherein people trained in the art of logic completely lose the plot, lose their heads, and go on a rampage. I read somewhere today (Jessica Valenti?) that male rage has taken center stage of late, and that's completely right. Not male rage at being victimized, or at losing a battle in the war on patriarchy. Just plain ol' male rage at having their positions of privilege threatened even a little.

Reasons for why a female survivor shouldn't be believed that I have heard today include: (a) she changed the terminology she used to describe the incident in the few years since it happened; (b) she was friends with/ may have had some sort of relationship with the accused and (c) she's been accused of inappropriate behaviour in the years since.

Literally NONE of these reasons excuse sexual assault. And as lawyers and lawyers-in-training, we know that. But that's never stopped us before.

When I was a first year, I was told by a senior about rape allegations against a suspended senior. "It was wrong of him to leave her where she was, alone and drunk, that's all," said the person speaking to me. They categorically disbelieved that the complainant was raped at all. And was parroting an opinion widely held in college.

Later on, I heard someone attacked for "putting herself in a dangerous place", for "not knowing that a given location was 'dangerous'", for "inconveniencing the rest of the college," which now had a curfew because she was rude enough to be attacked.

The nerve of any woman, really, for even existing. Hey, if you don't like the consequences of being outed as a harasser, DON'T. FUCKING. HARASS. Or assault. Quit being myopic, or delusional, or whatever your go-to method of self-blinding is.

Keep your friends from harassing or assaulting or taking advantage of drunk people, since the consequences of their being outed is likely to spill out onto you as well. Stop trying to discredit people speaking out. You don't get to pick and choose who meets your "perfect victim" criteria. You don't get to be so crude and uncivilized and still try and enjoy the benefits of civil society. Benefits that, might I add, include the fact that women are polite enough not to even protest too much while you're assaulting them, and polite enough not to try and murder your lying ass afterwards.

Man, just... Believe all people speaking out, okay? It really isn't that difficult. Different truths can and will coexist. Someone can be both abuser as well as survivor.