Expletives

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Trigger and content warning: non-consent, rape

I told myself I wouldn't do this but ya know what I'm doing this.

I gave an interview about what happened to me this year, and it's time to unpack my feelings of self-blame. I kept thinking about how I'd put myself in those situations. The things I'd done to contribute to those scenarios.

And then I listened to someone blame herself, for not being as cautious as she usually is.
And it's not on either of us. It's not on us that some people can't be bothered to ask for basic permission. That they don't understand that they shouldn't do anything without EXPLICIT PERMISSION. that if someone keeps saying no, or slow down, or is PRETENDING TO SLEEP while you keep feeling them up, then they should just stop right there.

If someone says no to sex without a condom, then that means no sex. If someone punches you in the crotch, maybe that's a sign. If someone says no, no, no, stop, stop, stop, that's a sign.

So fuck you for saying you didn't know. Fuck you for saying you thought it was consensual. Fuck you for saying you don't remember what happened. Fuck all of you who never ask for explicit consent because you're too shy or that's not something that comes naturally to you or you think it will disrupt the "flow ". There's no fucking flow. Fuck right off.

Fuck you people for treating every woman you see as an opportunity. Whether it's at work or outside someplace or your friend circle or your friends' friend circle... Or a dating app for that matter.
Nobody owes you sexual openness. Nobody owes you sex. We as a culture are not obligated to be sexually liberated, we do it for us, and fuck you for trying to take that away.

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