Beat Him Up? Y/N


Photo by Alejo Reinoso on Unsplash

We were having a discussion recently about having a dude beaten up (he more than deserves it.) This is the sort of thing we (I) regularly discuss as half a joke but I came to a couple of conclusions last night: 
That inflicting violence, however well justified, would impact the perpetrator as well as the victim. How even if it doesn't affect such monsters and even if they get pleasure out of it, we aren't like that because if we were we'd already be out there inflicting violence. That our empathetic nature would be affected by the pain we ourselves inflict. That there would be no going back from something like that, and you might irrevocably become someone else.
It puts the prospect of revenge in a clearer light - I have been very consumed by the idea for a while, and I cannot honestly say I have completely given up on it even now. Something needs to be done about such people... but should that something come at the further cost of our own humanity? Processing trauma through therapeutic methods is harder, but at least it is guaranteed to give results, unlike vengeance. 
So even after processing all of this, I still find myself being stubborn about holding on to my anger (fear?) I find it frustrating that therapy requires us to focus on our own actions, which we can control because it looks like multiple rounds of trauma are inevitable - simply as a woman, let alone other marginalized identities. Because taking any step forward might bring me in contact with someone who hurts me, and I might not be able to escape that hurt, so is life just going to be a cycle of trauma, and processing trauma? These are the unresolved questions I have, and I have yet to find information on how to deal with the prospect of future trauma. 

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