The Good Stuff

Photo by Chris F from Pexels

“You haven’t drunk the good stuff,” they say.

They make me smile, think back

To all the times with strange sounding names

All the times I was young and lost

All the times I drank to impress

The years that passed never-ending

In a parade of the good stuff

Back, to all the boys pretending to manhood

To each their preferred obsession

With each new man, a new strange name

A new definition of the good stuff

Absinthe reminds me of fairies

High on floor cleaner

Grey Goose was a short boy at a high bar

BP was false advertisement

Talisker a drunk elephant rampage

Captain Morgan guiding a ship

Through giddy honeymoon waters

Only for it to wreck on the rocks

Of elite Screwdrivers in lonely elite clubs

I close my eyes to the sound

Of Jaegerbombs bragging

Of Old Fashioned being pricey

While Glenfiddich sings of unfulfilled longing

And Hercules of alcoholics passed out

In the backyards of their prime

Ballantine was acceptance bought

A bad investment carefully paid for

Black and White a hateful freeloader

Smirnoff was a classy girl

While Tequila danced on tables

Romanov was a homeless drunk

Crying on the stairs with nowhere to go

Old Monk was always drowning

In the darkness of the most dangerous nights

Mug after mug

Of being forever a Kingfisher freshman

Millers a tantalizing world of strangeness

Dreams that came true

Leaving a bad taste in your mouth

A dangerous door did Corona open

All the slamming wouldn’t keep it shut

And Long Island Iced Teas are always a mistake

Never should they be mixed

With Death by Chocolate

Kamikaze and blue shooters help

You forget you’re not having fun

RC was how the stoners pretended

They were interested in drinking at all

Cosmo was a skin made

For somebody else

Mojitos mean choking on mint

JD was a friend’s birthday request

Jim Beam a wife beater

While Johnny Walker kept on walking

Along the glass doors of cabinets

In a home I’ve ceased to remember

Fenny was the triumphant taste of invisible rebellion

Russian vodka was the first sip in time

From fruity cocktails and coke floats

To unnamed paper cups of whiskey-vodka-beer

I’ve been around the block

Down the memory lane of the good stuff

The bad stuff, the mad stuff

“You haven’t drunk the good stuff,” they say

I smile, because I’ve drunk all the stuff.