Self Destruct in 3, 2, 1...

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Elon Musk, u ok there, buddy?

Watching Elon Musk publicly implode reminded me of an ongoing conversation with one of my best friends. We realized that this is what dudes do in dating/ relationship scenarios: given enough time, they all seem to self-destruct very competently. In fact, you don't really have to do anything - just stay quiet and observe as they carry both sides of a conversation until you don't like them anymore, and they don't like themselves very much either.

And it's astounding to me, the kinds of things that are death to the persona of your average dude. Well educated, (seemingly) well spoken, well placed professionally. Confident, comfortable, "argumentative..."

Crap, they just lost an argument/ don't know how to respond to a retort/ heard about some other guy you may have had a crush on/ was told that they are not in fact perfection personified. Oh, well, that was a good run. Lasted almost 5 minutes there.

**Sigh**

The amount of emotional labour women have to do in basic interactions with men - let alone in dating scenarios - is staggering. You have to reassure them, you have to find them funny. (I'm the ultimate coolgirl - I'll laugh at anything. It's annoying at this point to everyone except them dudes.) You have to give them space - but not too much space. You have to ward off all the women they pissed off somehow. You have to buy them things, but not let them spend on you. But also in fact, you should not pay for yourself because that's insulting.

And don't, don't ever get into an argument with them - or, God forbid, actually win it.

As a retired professional coolgirl, I no longer have the patience. I don't care what sort of catch they think they are, I don't care what advantages they'd bring me, I don't care how much I could possibly potentially love them. I just. Don't. Have the patience.

I recently started going for driving lessons, and was talking about them to a guy I haven't even met yet. He started condescendingly patronizing "driving in India" because I said that they started me off with just steering. (This is common practice in a lot of driving schools, and to me, it makes perfect sense.) I responded by suggesting that he bring his car (which he'd previously been bragging about) over and teach me, if he was so bothered by teaching malpractice. Predictably, this triggered much shouting in alarm, and more bragging about said car, at which point I typed, "Then quit bitching" and pressed send without stopping to think about whether it was polite enough first.

And I just, you know, no regrets. I don't have the fucking energy - I shouldn't have to have the fucking energy. Clean up your act, people, and have some fucking shame. Or some introspection. Something. Aanything. 

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