Navigating Solutions and Darkness

Photo by  Benjamin Behre  on  Unsplash Written December 14, 2010 Sometimes, weird things run wild. Those days, maybe you handle it. Maybe you don't.  There are some thoughts that aren't even said out loud. Not even to your reflection in the mirror. Saying them out loud would mean a loss of sanctity... it would mean exposing them to the differently structured minds of other people.  They won't understand. They never do. And when you do say it out loud, not even your reflection in the mirror is sympathetic.  Yes, it's time to move on. It's time to take this thing I know, and lock it away in a safe somewhere. And then set that safe on an island and set it adrift on an ocean; peaceful and calm as the glassy lake on a warm summer day. This thing I'm locking away involves a deep set belief grounded in pure Soul. It has a streak of white hot Hope on it, a Hope that's dangerous if set free. It's not the paths we traced to get to here that ...

I'm sittin' here in the boring room It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon I'm wasting my time I got nothin' to do I'm hangin' around I'm waitin' for you But nothing ever happens and I wonder I'm drivin' around in my car I'm drivin' too fast I'm drivin' too far I'd like to change my point of view I feel so lonely I'm waitin' for you But nothing ever happens and I wonder I wonder how I wonder why Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon tree I'm turnin' my head up and down I'm turnin', turnin', turnin', turnin', turnin' around And all that I can see is just another lemon tree Sing! Dap-dadada-dadpm-didap-da Dadada-dadpm-didap-da Dap-didili-da I'm sittin' here I miss the power I'd like to go out takin' a shower But there's a heavy cloud inside my head I feel so tired Put myself into bed Well, ...

Photo by  ActionVance  on  Unsplash Acceptance  Avoidance of negative emotions can be a very compelling approach. Facing negative emotions can lead to depression, can disrupt daily functioning. But in the long run, avoidance serves to compound the negativity.  Acceptance is a willingness to experience your emotions.  Experiencing emotions without pushing them away can be the first step towards healing.  Mindfulness  Learning to notice the present moment and paying attention to your internal state.  Self as Context  Exploring how we see ourselves using descriptors  Gaining some distance from those descriptors  Labels are words to describe you, but not the total essence of you.  Exploring Value and Action  Identifying and committing to what you truly value in your life.  By identifying what is important to you, you can start to figure out how you want to change your behaviour....

Photo by  ActionVance  on  Unsplash Therapy can be frustrating for multiple reasons. On the one hand, you have to talk about things you really don't want to talk about. You have to talk about them to someone else, when you won't even give them thought-form inside your own head. Trying to get past that means turning on honest-mode no matter what, which can lead to... blabbering. Because you're so uncomfortable, and now you're forcing yourself to talk and god knows what the hell you're saying anymore. Yes, I'm confusing myself AND my therapist. That's great. But as I said during the session today, I want to write things down so that they may be made sense of. If I'm being honest, I would rather NOT be the person who has to go back and make sense of this stuff. I would rather NOT be in touch with some of my thoughts? Why is that though, because I've been telling myself that I have no thoughts I'm ashamed of - I accept myself, flaws an...

Photo by  STIL  on  Unsplash Mindfulness  Building awareness of the present moment.  Focusing attention on emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations.  Focus on the five senses - sight, smell, hearing, skin sensations, and taste  Paying attention to what's going on without judgment.  Interpersonal Effectiveness In each interaction with people, we juggle various priorities.  Those priorities vary from person to person and context to context - sometimes we prioritize our relationship with a person, other times we prioritize goals or achievements  DBT can help figure out those priorities and provide road maps to achieving them.  Emotional Regulation  There may be situations where your emotions become uncontrollable - anxiety, anger or sadness.  This is especially the case when you feel vulnerable - when you're hungry, tired, sick, or exposed to unpleasantness, for instance.  Sleep, exercise...

Photo by  Alejo Reinoso  on  Unsplash We were having a discussion recently about having a dude beaten up (he more than deserves it.) This is the sort of thing we (I) regularly discuss as half a joke but I came to a couple of conclusions last night:  That inflicting violence, however well justified, would impact the perpetrator as well as the victim. How even if it doesn't affect such monsters and even if they get pleasure out of it, we aren't like that because if we were we'd already be out there inflicting violence. That our empathetic nature would be affected by the pain we ourselves inflict. That there would be no going back from something like that, and you might irrevocably become someone else. It puts the prospect of revenge in a clearer light - I have been very consumed by the idea for a while, and I cannot honestly say I have completely given up on it even now. Something needs to be done about such people... but should that something come at the furt...