Navigating Solutions and Darkness

The self-doubt is crippling. 

"The only true form of freedom, the only ethical form of freedom, is through self-limitation. It's not the privilege of choosing everything you want in your life, but rather, choosing what you will give up." - Everything is Fucked by Mark Manson 

I've often wondered about rock bottom. Would I know when I hit it? The answer is no, because I seem to live there.

In circles she goes, running out the clock of her life. Why me why me why me why me why why why *whining continues endlessly* 

I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic and she said yes

After breaking the screen on my phone for the third time this year, and with the screen on my tab also broken, I thought I'd log into twitter through desktop and have a meltdown.  Except it turns out Twitter is having an even worse day. 

Two things I'll always be terrible at - gardening and cooking. As far as anything related to plants is concerned, I like to joke that I have a black thumb. Except it's not a joke.  I can get by just fine without ever having to look a plant in the eye (while it's still alive, anyway) but cooking is a whole other story. Not being able to cook means going hungry even though there are groceries in the kitchen. It means spending that last 200 bucks on pizza even though there's no plan for tomorrow. Because my blood sugar is plummeting right now , and planning for tomorrow is moot if I don't make it tomorrow.  Yep, that's dark. Back to cooking.  It isn't that I don't know how to cook. Technically I do. Technically, I can make rice, potatoes, pulses, an omlette, and fry pappadom. It's a paradoxical list, because I've never boiled an egg or cooked chicken.  But thanks to the auspicious influence of ADHD, I am a certifiably bad cook. I burn everything. Ri...