Runaway

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I told you once, not so long ago, to warn me before you started to run. 
Photo by dylan nolte on Unsplash

But now you're quite far away and still running, and I felt it when you began to run. But I'm not the one to come running after you, and I'm not going to be the one to call out either.

Something I've learnt in all of my experience with Friends; Awesome as well as otherwise; is that they appear where you least expect them to, and in people you'd never have dreamed of. But then again, one day, just when you've eased them into your comfort zone, they just drop off the horizon. And its as if they'd never existed. You're left alone, in the twilight, wondering what you did wrong to drive them off. And then you've gotta start from the beginning, start all over again, break someone else in and then watch them leave.

So you see, I completely understand. I really do. I just wish you'd been more honest with me. I wish you'd warned me before you began to run. I wish you'd let me know that you needed your space. I wish I didn't have to hear the narcissistic barbs you come out with when you're sloshed.

Eventually, I will get over the pain. And just as I manage to clamber up the sides of the pits, the next landslide will I see, waiting just for me, at the brink.

But that's then. It's in the future, so it doesn't matter now. All I have to do is close my eyes and listen to the thud of my heart going doesn't matter, doesn't matter, doesn't matter, doesn't matter till I fall asleep.

- Written August 13, 2010

This bitch knew too much, and not enough, clearly. 

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