Navigating Solutions and Darkness

Photo by  Wellington Cunha  from  Pexels For almost a decade of crushing on girls, I didn't even know that homosexuality was a thing - let alone bisexuality. Even when I found out about homosexuality, of one thing I was sure - that wasn't me. I wondered though - I wondered who I might know that might be. And I thought about the older, attractive girls I admired. The ones who had a reputation for disregarding social norms and conservative school rules about segregating boys and girls. The ones I so desperately wanted to be... but never to be with. Right? I thought about them and concluded that perhaps they might do these strange things with each other - make out with each other the way guys and girls were supposed to do. I tried to imagine it, and experienced a thrill, and came away even surer than before: That that's not me. That's just not me. It was only when I found myself hanging around a schoolmate's classroom, hoping to catch even the slightes...

Photo by  Sharon McCutcheon  on  Unsplash Much has been written about biphobia and bi-erasure in recent years, and I think about it every time I go home. This is because in the last five years, I have had to come out to my family at least 10 times. Twice a year, every year, each time I go home. And I'm received with the same exact reactions each time. There's (1) completely ignoring what I just said, and acting like it's nothing to do with them. There's (2) a 3 hour discussion on how bisexuality isn't a real thing because "everyone feels affection towards members of the same gender, and that doesn't make you queer or anything." And (3) you're not bisexual because you've never been with a woman, you just want attention/ to boost your SJW cred. Set aside the fact that I've had crushes on girls exactly as long as I've had crushes on boys (read: since kindergarten.) Set aside the fact that you're not actually "required...

Photo by  Allef Vinicius  on  Unsplash Dreams split wide/ Revealing The blood of delusions seeping through My head light/ dizzy A blood rush down and away/ Seeking egress Toes tapping against imaginary dances To the beat of a long dead story A string tied to a rib/ Only To be yanked viciously Follow on/ Or die alone bleeding Out from separation anxiety/ Separation From a rib that turns out to be More than a little important Once/ Or so the story goes Ariadne’s thread glowed bright Leading heart to heart through A labyrinthine world/ Twists And turns only to lead right back to you Always find my way back to you Once/ Or so the song is sung Until to ashes the magic yarn Fire-kissed twine did turn To reddish-copper burnished Sullen in the flames of betrayal Longer, stronger, worthless now/ Leading Off into a different world’s timelines A dull ache left behind Resounding/ with ...

Photo by Hasan Almasi, Unsplash What hands are these/ Reddened By complicity/ A baying silence In the shadow of the mob What greed is ineffectually condemned In the safety of self-righteous handwringing What thoughts pass unnoticed In muted prayers Of "Take any that Spare me" What will is signed Behind closed oaken doors of minds fraught With unease and laden with the roaring of guilt And whence comes the day With the dogs at the door What cats will slip on velvet paws Out the back door into oblivion And what birds will succumb To the tragedies they foretold in their morning chants

Are you, are you Coming to the tree They strung up a man They say who murdered three Strange things did happen here No stranger would it be If we met at midnight In the hanging tree Are you, are you Coming to the tree Where dead man called out For his love to flee Strange things did happen here No stranger would it be If we met at midnight In the hanging tree Are you, are you Coming to the tree Where I told you to run So we'd both be free Strange things did happen here No stranger would it be If we met at midnight In the hanging tree Are you, are you Coming to the tree Wear a necklace of hope Side by side with me Strange things did happen here No stranger would it be If we met at midnight In the hanging tree Are you, are you Coming to the tree Where I told you to run So we'd both be free Strange things did happen here No stranger would it be If we met at midnight In the hanging tree Are you, are you Coming to the tree Where they strung up a man They say who murd...