Navigating Solutions and Darkness

Whenever I hear of problematic behaviour displayed by a famous or semi-famous person, I bookmark it somewhere in my head. But such is the range and variety of problematic behaviour that it is impossible to keep track of every monster and the details of their repellent behaviour. So in a lot of cases, I make a face when I hear a particular name but cannot immediately recall why. When Sacred Games was released, I was highly unimpressed (primarily because Saif Ali Khan). I wasn’t planning on watching it. Now, for most people, the big draw was Nawazuddin Siddiqui, whom I had previously seen only in Kahaani. And sure, he displayed charisma in that movie, but it wasn’t enough to cancel out the big, boring presence of Saif Ali Khan. And then a friend of mine started talking about Sacred Games while we were out for lunch. I made a face. But Nawazuddin Siddiqui, he said. I love that guy. I know twisted, fucked up characters are his forte, but I love that guy. I made a

I get angrier at myself for being depressed when things are going well than I do for when things are going up in flames. The more reasons to feel happy the are the more I feel obligated to be happy. And I know that's unfair of me because depression doesn't exactly give me a say in these things. But it is a very difficult responds to unlearn. Watching Petra struggle with postpartum depression on Jane the virgin has allowed me to unlock an even deeper level of empathy. (And fresh hate for Tom Cruise and all men like him who use their pedestal to propagate hateful and potentially damaging bullshit.) I still can't figure out why the Jane the virgin poster features a girl child though, and I'm two seasons in. I have been doing nanowrimo this year, and it has finally been working for me after so many years. I am reminded of when I started work on my first novel, back in 2013. I used to write on paper back then, although right now that feels like double the work. And Nan

05.11.2018 Hello, Grumpy Grumperson here. Hope you're all having a nice day. I'm not, although I wouldn't chalk it up to depression or difficulty. I'm just having a very grumpy day (since I woke from my afternoon nap - am I a baby?) Great, now I'm even grumpy about the words Grumpy GrumperSON. PRO: I looked at an apt, took kittens to the vet, napped, and swept the house. CON: I still have Nano to do today, an exam to study for, and LOADS of housework. I also have an irrational urge to scream at people for no reason. I do not think that's normal. 🙄