On Consent, Reproductive Agency, and Platforms: Nikki Reed and Ian Somerhalder

There was a recent story about Ian Somerhalder and Nikki Reed's pregnancy. A story told by the couple, intended to be humorous, about how Somerhalder threw out Reed's birth control pills because he was so eager to start a family started an internet backlash. 

Nikki Reed and Ian Somerhalder

Reed later clarified with regards to the backlash, calling out writers who claimed her pregnancy was non-consensual.

Now, clearly Reed's pregnancy was not non-consensual - her husband throwing away pills in front of her would not preclude her from getting more, for example. There is also a difference in how consent plays out with an established couple - couples that know each other well wouldn't require explicit consent from each other the way strangers or new couples would. But it does raise a few red flags. 

Nikki Reed stressed on the fact that this was a humorous story about something that had happened between a married couple (the use of the word "married" somehow bringing in a greater emphasis on their need for privacy, and perhaps implying a lower standard of privacy for other categories of people, but forget that.) While I was not particularly enamoured of her character Rosalie Hale in the Twilight series, I think she puts a great deal of effort into her writing (she was co-writer on her debut film, Thirteen), her acting and her activism. As such, while Reed has the right to decry irresponsible journalism that alleges something as serious as a lack of consent in a pregnancy for sensationalist purposes, perhaps it would also be worthwhile for her to introspect on her story itself. 

Men attempting to control their female partners' reproductive agency is not news. An "amusing" story I've heard told by employees of a certain company about their female boss is about how she had three children with her husband because he probably poked holes in the condoms. That, my friends, is assault, not comedy. Similarly, many narratives abound of birth control pills being replaced with placebos in an effort to get wives or girlfriends pregnant without their knowledge or consent. 

While Reed and Somerhalder's marriage may be blissful, and their pregnancy great news, it is not perhaps correct for such a high profile couple to hold up this story as a lighthearted example, simply because there are plenty of women who are at the mercy of their partners' whims when it comes to reproductive rights. Equally importantly, perhaps Reed should take a moment or two to acknowledge where the backlash is coming from. Our collective psyche remembers these examples, and reacts to deplore any incident that seems to fall within these categories simply because of how high the likelihood of consent being violated is. Reed doesn't have to deal with such violence or abuse, but her angry clarification might lead people who do suffer from such to think that perhaps they're mistaken about feeling wronged. 

As always, one of the side effects of celebrity is platform and influence. The example you set becomes very important indeed. Somerhalder's status as a heartthrob brings up the question of whether young women may forgive similar behaviour (shorn of the context and complexity of an established relationship) in their own partners, because if their idol did it, then it must be okay. 

Update: The couple has issued a joint apology towards anyone that has faced reproductive coercion, acknowledging the possible impact of their anecdote.