Navigating Solutions and Darkness

Photo by  Matt Duncan  on  Unsplash I remember the first time I fell in love with a language. It was fourth grade, and we had to learn a third language in school - after English and Arabic, both of which were compulsory. The options were Hindi, Urdu and French. I didn't know any Hindi or Urdu and my parents really couldn't help me there. The scripts were a little difficult to acclimatize to, and I really wanted to learn French. Urdu was never even really considered an option (I wonder why). The kids who learned Hindi and Urdu actually spoke it as their first language, so I guess that was pretty convenient for them. The teachers for both these languages taught in said language, I would probably have been lost from Day 1, and that would have screwed up my perfect percentages.  I was eager to learn French - I connected to it as much as I failed to connect with Hindi and Urdu. It helped that Mrs. S was glamorous in a way teachers in that school definitely weren...

Photo by  Jimmy Chan  from  Pexels Written on October 2, 2008. Notes in red. You know how the old classic goes... Welcome to the Ho(s)tel California... You can check out any time you want... But you can never  leave!!!! I checked out, baby. I checked out a long time ago. But it doesn't look like I get to leave any time soon. I'm going back today, with no hope for any respite until November. Ahm how the months stretch on.. Days and days of sleeping in class and lying awake at night,  of analysing and cross analysing people's words and actions, and going all paranoid on them --  Does she hate me? What did he mean by that? Why doesn't this one look at me?  Frankly, I'm getting a little sick of myself. If you were to ask just wtf is wrong wit me... I'd tell you I'm a paranoiac suffering from bipolar disorder and mild schizophrenia and mild megalomania. And just in case you didn't know,   bipolar disorder is the same a...

Crossposted from here : Written on October 21, 2015 Title:  Bhimsen Author:  Prem Panicker Year of Publication: Series:  N/A Goodreads Rating (Avg.):  4.12 Goodreads Rating (Mine):  3 Some Spoilers Are Bound To Be Around Plot Description:  A retelling of another retelling of the epic poem Mahabharatha, from the perspective of the second brother – Bhim. Let me start from the top. The Mahabharath is an epic poem, somewhat similar to the  Illiad  or the  Odyssey.  Like with those poems, there have been numerous versions of the Mahabharath, numerous perspectives and retellings, and along the way, new myths and legends are continuously being tacked onto the end of it. Panicker’s story is a loose translation of an older version written in Malayalam by M.T. Vasudevan Nair called  Randamoozham (Second Chance ). What Panicker and Nair both attempt is to engage with the myths and legends that surround the stories about the Mahab...

My horse jumps Yet another stile Hooves spraying surf Right into my dreams Tonight So much outside Doesn't seem to touch Me/ though I watch This and a million other  Movies in dream-time Places I knew Just months ago Have lived on Behind my eyes A world or two Captured in memory Growing now Of their own accord I watch the sleep Of a million others And wonder where My pen doth stray My world revolves Despite the line And yet I know I can't leave The Past alone Written on August 29, 2010

Written on October 1, 2008 Photo by  Nadia Jamnik  on  Unsplash Now, what exactly made me choose that title? Frankly, I'm not so sure, except for the fact that everything's pretty much broken heart material pour moi  right now. Where do I begin? Maybe from the last post. Remember what I said about being hung from the yardarm? Very nearly happened. I guess it was stupid to think I could get away with it. I was caught and screwed for every bit of the time I took off. So what with my grandmother's lectures about cutting classes, and the nuns' horror at what I'd dared to do... And that too, a girl. Quel horreur! One of these days, I will bomb Brilliant Study Centre. And then news analysts all over the world will zoom in on my blog and go, "OMG, we should've seen it coming. I mean, look, it was all over her page!" I can only hope I'll be unavailable for comment. The microphones of World News may never recover from the filthy diatribe I...

Crossposted from here : written October 23, 2015 Title:  Bad Feminist Author:  Roxane Gay Year of Publication:  2014 Series:  N/A Goodreads Rating (Avg.):  3.88 Goodreads Rating (Mine):  5 Plot Description:  A non fiction book of essays by Roxane Gay about feminism. While I personally loved this book, I also looked at a couple of critical reviews about it, and I might link or mention them in passing while I’m reviewing this one. I first started reading  Bad Feminist  on a friend’s kindle, at random. I had no idea what the topic of the book was. I didn’t even start at the beginning of a chapter. But I was hooked, and I caught hold of the book for myself, and read it cover to cover. It took me a while. Parts of it was overwhelming. I had to take a break in the middle. I now follow Roxane Gay on twitter. Part of the reason why I found this book so compelling was that it spoke to me before I even knew what it was ...

Photo by  BRUNO CERVERA  on  Unsplash Corporate life is not meant for those with mental health issues. I panic. I can't deal. I hate people who have high functioning versions of depression or anxiety. How fucking ridiculous is that.  ---  I switched to another tab to look up high functioning and low functioning and completely forgot that I'd written the above paragraph.  Also, I've changed my mind. High functioning doesn't mean what I thought it did. It means someone who's able to maintain a positive profile in their public and professional life, as opposed to someone like me, who's unable to hide it.  [Source]  Perhaps high functioning is even more stressful than low functioning, because it can't be easy to keep up the performance.  Work life needs to be more sensitive to physical and mental health issues. Work life needs to recognize that it's populated by human beings, and not machines. Work life needs to stop rewar...