Navigating Solutions and Darkness

So I'm sitting here with Blogger open, eyeing the stats on the last post and thinking about writing something, while also watching Set It Up on Netflix (thank you, limited attention span...) And I suddenly think about work and notice the time and there it goes again - that jolt in my stomach. After a panic attack that lasted a full day, there was bound to be a little left over, right? And I couldn't help it - I threw my head back  and yelped. Nothing scary, but I guess it sounded enough like a cat's growl of frustration. Because the next thing I know, Ventus is jumping from the dresser to my bed. I picked him up like he's a big, furry baby (which he is - my big furry baby), and I looked into his big yellow eyes, and just... The way he looks at me, there's nothing like it in the whole wide world. The way he's only too happy to snuggle into my hugs, the way he licks my face, the way he blinks... There can never be too many kisses if they are for mommy. The k...

I remember... I remember the sun smiling down on the bends in the road, and the rain tickling our faces. We drove on towards a sweet uncertainty, knowing only that this has been the best afternoon, the best afternoon.  It started when I made a call. I fixed my teeth and fixed my hair. And somewhere behind the fatigue in my eyes danced a little girl, her irrepressible joy marking what would be the best afternoon, the best afternoon. The food hung heavy on my tongue, and rested gently in my belly. Our chatter spoke of people and places long lost to me. Of pain from far away, and above all, of home, of home.  Pride and joy took turns to exult. My skin no longer burned in the fires of consciousness. It was enough that I was enough and far more, more than enough. For on that day, I was the best afternoon, the best afternoon. We laughed and spoke of stranger things. I forgot how the city was afire around me. The flames spiked with the spitefulness of memory still reached...

What words a-wasted lie  As I fight for breath and sleep  What silence chokes the air  As a war is fought/ Twixt  Bad choices/ No win in sight  Branded either way  No patience lies  And fear is in the air  Exhaustion/ Short drop Sudden stop/ End of line  Temptation curves/ The edge  Of my vision blurring  Easy enough/ To lay back, let It pass/ But be! Good citizen Good employee/ Even though  Your contributions go Up in smoke/ Now be! The right thing, the right thing Be! Derided though you tried As melody rolls through  I feel knots relaxing/ Eyes  Closing/ Sympathy and love  Flowing by/ And I with it  Yet here/ Dark seeds  Of guilt flowering/ Taking root  Growing tall/ Enough to rip  Through my brain/ Turn  Eyes jellylike/ I pray  That pain does recede/ Pray That certainty does return

Dust from fire/ Settling  Hunched over shadows weak And dwindling/ Twist out  Of Fate's grasp/ Betrayed By mine own flesh/ By bones  Too weak to stand/ These eyes  In them shone the light  Of cruelty/ These lies  Turned to matter here to stay  This grasping blue skin  The aftermath  Of dust from fire 

Shadows/ On the side Vengeance on wheels/ Barrelling  Down the road/ A crash A do-over/ Ensure the job Is done/ The pole falls  Cut in two/ Blue lightning racing  Down on a collision Course with Fate  A wretched scream  Death rides In desperate fingers  Fiery flames billowing/ Outward From a sunflower core of ash  Eyes snap/ Wave aside it's time  Shine/ As a new star  Hanging in the heavens/ Burning  Alive for all time  Wait! Even though it's time  To explore a new world/ Created  In my image/ Wait! Nagging  Pitifully/ This hero past  His hill/ Toothless and decrepit  Arrogant challenge? Plaintive Cry/ Return to your hag Nothing awaits you here/ But death  

I need a vacation from that vacation. I need a vacation from the masochism, from the to-do lists, from the constant buzzing of my brain. I need a vacation from all the calls, from all the nightmares, from all the shapes of the dreams I would rather not see again. I need a vacation from ideologies. From studies. From work. From creepy dudes. I need a vacation from monsters and traitors. 

Organisation:  Collective group of persons engaged in pursuing specified objectives. May be formal or informal.  Formal Organisation Structure:  Structure of jobs and positions with defined functions and relationships. This type of organization is built by management to realize the objectives of an enterprise. Can be classified as under: Line organization  Functional Organization  Line and staff organization  Project Management Organization  Matrix Organization  Line Organization:  Oldest pattern of organization.  Line functions refer to those employees who have direct responsibility for accomplishing the objective of the enterprise.  A supervisor exercises direct supervision over a subordinate and authority flows from the person at the top to the person at the lowest ring  Also known as military or scalar type of organization. It benefits from unified control and undivided loyalty, therefore gaining d...