Navigating Solutions and Darkness

“What will their first move be?” Malice asked.  Mercy knew what answer her mother was looking for, but she also knew what Yerin and Lindon would actually do first. “Advance,” she said at once. “They don’t do much else. It’s going to be their first solution to any problem.”

While the Abidan read the Way and bowed to the current patterns of Fate, Daruman wrestled destiny and bent it to his own will. He created the future he wanted and projected it in front of himself, and he saw it spin out. ~ Dreadgod, Will Wight

Friendship is not being allowed to express your opinions to your friend, your other friends, on twitter, Instagram, online, offline, or in the form of graffiti Friendship is not being allowed to be angry when your friend is openly screwing you over.  Friendship is changing literally everything about yourself in the hope that your friend will bother to offer you a scrap of attention left over, once they're done worshipping some dude  Your definition of friendship is a burden to me. I do not want it. 

A burden too strong for three to bear  But strong enough to bear three What am I 

Since my blog's offline anyway, I feel like maybe I can be less restrictive than I usually am, work out the answers to a couple of questions that have been bugging me for a long time. The most annoying of these questions is something I've been chucking under the "choice and cultural feminism is stupid and sucks" umbrella for a long time, but I need to know if I'm justified in thinking that way. "Respect homemaking and the choice to be a housewife." Why? 1. Homemaking is important and involves a lot of labour and we should respect and acknowledge that. We should acknowledge it, but I honestly don't feel like we should be respecting or encouraging such a choice. Now, people may agree with the not encouraging bit, while balking at the not respecting bit. Now there's no doubt that homemaking is an insane amount of work - menial physical, as well as emotional. The greater the number of family members, the worse it gets. And there is no pay. Even if on...

Maybe I do have less than you after all 

  Panic and fear. Too many things. Floating along, lost, unguided. Feeling as though nobody else speaks my language. Feeling as though perhaps I do not speak their language. How can such stupidity make sense to everyone else? Did we not grow up speaking the same language? How are people so willing to be content with ignorance? What stops them from discovering the whole truth before making accusations? How do those accusations make sense? I am not calm. Why did she say I was? I have not changed. Why did she think I have. And if I have changed - is that a good thing? Among snakes like those, isn't it right to be angry, to be flame, to burn everything? No, telling me I am calm doesn't please me. I must be fury. I must be fire. I must destroy everything before it has the chance to destroy me. Panic and fear. Too many decisions. Fear. Fear. Fear. FEAR. I cannot survive. I cannot live. I wish for death. I wish I was dead. I wish everyone was. - Written June 2, 2017 Context Unknown