Sea Spray

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I wrote this to submit to a Pain Poetry contest but I didn't end up doing that because why do things that intimidate you when you can just indulge in maladaptive daydreaming, right?
Anyway, if I want to make myself publish things more, I need to have an exam coming up, as usual.


Photo by Max LaRochelle on Unsplash

Stop. Gap. Silence
Yawning wide/ The moment 
After the screaming stops

The universe itself 
Seemingly lingers suspended 
In animation/ Baited 
By breath I dive back in 
For this time / As the cold hits 
Me in the face, the stinging 
Pressure of the deep blue sea
In submerged eyeballs
The tears are all a-drowning

The silence
Rushing back out/ I swim 
Again into the screaming/ See.

Stop. Knees buckling under
Memory's onslaught/ Reliving 
That part where your life flashes 
Past time/ And again/ Mine eyes numb
And blinded by the effort 
Of trying to keep seeing/ To keep
Doing what they were built 
to do/ The silence 

Takes me by surprise as
The word screaming hangs silent 
In the deep/ Replacing 
The roaring hellfire that spreads 
Cross acres of seabed/ What life 
Was once here is long gone 
A-roasted and boiled and gulped
Down in spices/ Their souls 
To the Sea Beyond the sea/ To paradise 
Flooded in coconut cream and honey 

Gap. My memory opens wide 
its maw/ Ancient leviathan gorged 
And sated by monsters ev'n older
By things inside of me I cannot 
kill/ I gasp awake from dreams 
Of drowning/ My bed made 
In the coffin of a pearl so large 
It dwarf'd the tallest of buildings I see
In all my waking dreams 
With the dead from deadships 
For dinner company and ghosts 
From my past crowding railings of rust 

Another breath/ The oceans fall
Away and I/ Alone 
As nightmares crumble to fact
It's time/ I've lost a few weeks this time 
It's time to wrap my selves together/ Sweep
All the dust and smother/ Fires 
Into Oil lamps burning forever / The sea 
Won't stay at bay for long / But now 
Isn't the time to think of hearts 
Bleeding over now so stop/ The silence 
Yawning wide and blessed/ Silence 
Come to tuck me in/ Now rest 
They won't be back for a few 
Just a few weeks in and for which I'll live 

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